Are we asking the right questions about immigration?

A moment of cultural/ political seriousness. I've listened to politicians, "experts", and regular folks talk about immigration. But I have to ask, are we asking the right questions about immigrants and the workforce? I don't claim to be an expert but whenever I hear "experts", they seem to be missing one key point.

It's true that there are many immigrant and undocumented workers working in America. It's true that undocumented and immigrant workers often work for less than others. But whose fault is that? I understand the difficulties that contractors and business owners face: if this group can do a job for $10,000 and another group can do the same job for $15,000, which group do you hire? The business decision is to hire the group that costs less.

That is, of course, unless you're anti-immigrant / undocumented (code for "brown-skinned Latino") worker. There are many who think the problem is this sector of the workforce - it's always the undocumented workers who are coming for "our" jobs. "They" are driving down wages. Do we ask why? My question is, why are people/ companies/ developers hiring undocumented workers who are willing to work for less?

If we as a country are serious about stabilizing our economy, and if Republicans are serious about sealing off our southern border and expelling anyone from south of that border, why are people still hiring people willing to work for less?

The problem isn't the person who is asking for less money to do a job. The problem is the person doing the hiring. Wages in our country haven't kept pace with other costs; housing, food, and transportation costs have all increased but wages have stagnated or even fallen. How is that possible? The "job creators" like to go on and on about how they create jobs out of thin air but who are they hiring?

The blame is always placed on those willing to work for less. If we want to stop giving people a reason to come to America, how about we stop hiring them?

My tone may be harsh but I'm not against immigrants or migrants coming to America to do jobs that frankly, many Americans aren't willing to do. Shoveling pig shit on some industrial farm in a plains state isn't desirable. I'm not saying it's a job anyone wants to do and I think it's worth more than $9/hour. But again, it's the business owner who should be faulted, not the person who needs the money. We should be striving to pay our workforce adequately, valuing the work that is done and the person doing the work - not the dollar attached.

So let's start asking the tough questions, especially of the politicians threatening to deport undocumented workers. Let's be honest: we need them. A reevaluation of our foreign policy along with a commitment by "job creators" and business owners to pay living wages and re-think their hiring practices is what's needed more than shipping a huge segment of our population and economy back to civil wars and poverty. But I'm not the expert, nor am I running for President.

Taking root

For almost a year, I've been throwing out ideas about how my life should proceed. Where do I live? With whom do I live? What kind of work do I want to do? What kind of work should I do? Do I change everything all at once? Who do I want to be?

Heavy questions but not insurmountable to answer. I made rash decisions then abandoned them. I interviewed for positions but turned them down. I sought advice from friends, family, Facebook, anyone who would sit down with me.

But I'm still in Vermont. Still in my for-sale-house. Living with he-who-shall-not-be-named. One thing I have changed is that this week is my last week as Regional Planner with a professional office job. It hasn't sunk in yet... the excitement, the joy, is still a surreal freshness. For the indefinite near future, I'll be a consultant. I have a registered business and an Employer Identification Number. I have an office (my house) and an email address. I have my first client and tonight I interview for my second. I have people who know I'm available. Whether this is a long term thing or not remains to be known.

What I do know is that I'm excited and terrified. For the first time in a really long time, I'm excited about work. I'm terrified to the core with failure: What if I charge too little for my time? What if I'm destitute? What if I'm making a major legal/ taxation failure? What if I gave up a steady job with health and vacation benefits only to find myself bankrupt and poor? What if I don't yet have the expertise?

I haven't let the potential for success win my thinking - what if I build up a business? What if I have too many clients that I can't manage the work? What if I end up finding a really great full-time job during this time? Who knows what could happen. It could be great or it could bomb. The thing is, I'm trying. I was very unhappy in my professional office job with benefits. The work was mostly great but the atmosphere was unhealthy for me. When I first started, I couldn't wait to get to work. I would get there at 8, 8:30 and didn't want to leave at the end of the day. I was excited every single day. Slowly, my excitement waned. Today, I dread going into the office. I avoid talking to most staff people if possible. When I do, I find myself unnecessarily and involuntarily angry or curt. I volunteer for meetings and committees for any excuse to be with the public. I skim the newspaper wondering what horrible thing is being said about my organization this week.

I will miss it, for sure. But when we get to the point in our work where we feel that awful about it, why drag it out? As Americans, we spend an exorbitant amount of our lives at our jobs. I know I am in a position of luxury where I can take this leap. I know others have taken greater leaps or wish they could but they can't. For me, this is the boost I needed. A boost of confidence: people want to work with me! People value the work I do! As I'm leaving LCPC, I'm starting to hear great things about myself. I hadn't been hearing that - only negative things about our organization and my work - and if the positive side was more vocal, it may have made a difference. (I've been printing out and collecting the accolades from colleagues - maybe that's narcissistic but it's building my confidence back!)

I'm still conflicted about public service. Part of me thinks I never want to do it again. As my boss told me (very negatively), I wear my heart on my sleeve. I need to learn to "hold my cards closer". I disagree that we must posture and strategize. I'm honest and sincere. If I could've changed the way my face betrays me by now, I would have, but I can't. I don't want to be a pawn in a political game. That's not fair nor is it responsible to taxpayers. I want to be efficient and accomplish results. The current "game" that LCPC is playing with some municipalities isn't benefitting anyone, neither the municipalities, LCPC, nor our constituents. I'm ashamed of the behavior that is happening.

The other part of me really values the honest people who work on the public dollar. It's not easy. The expectations are high, as they should be. We have an important responsibility to act in the best interests of the "public". That includes everyone - every taxpayer, every voter, every property owner, every renter, every worker, everyone who receives, uses, or benefits from "the Public Dollar". In short - that's all of us. I guess this is also what drives my political leanings, too. I believe that we should be looking out for every single person and that equity means we take care of one another, even if it conflicts with our personal or religious beliefs.

I digress.

So far over the past two weeks, I've worked full days from home without turning on the TV. I've done laundry, washed dishes, cleaned rooms, and completed overdue paint jobs. I've read for pleasure, I've cooked and eaten balanced meals. I've spent great time with four legged best friend and sidekick. I've kept the house warm. I've journaled, tried my hand at my poetry, and written letters. I hope to keep this up because it feels so great not to be tied to an office. And to be able to participate in the public process once again. And to not have night meeting after night meeting after night meeting. And I feel great - mentally and emotionally happy.

If I'm doing something different in a year, there is probably a really good reason for it. I don't expect this will be easy but if all we do is work ourselves to death and we don't even enjoy it, or we go home stressed, anxious, and overworked, what's the point of life?

So I've decided to take root. I still don't know if I'll be in Vermont in the future but I'm not so antsy to leave. I love northern Vermont - it's beautiful, mysterious, tough, unique, and with an incredible specialty that isn't for everyone. I'm calling my consulting business "Rooted Solutions" because the root to our problems can be found in our community consciousness, wherever we land. Let it grow and you'll discover amazing possibilities. You can find me rooted in this place, for now at least.

It's Not Your Fault.

If I've learned anything in the last four and a half years, it's this:

It's not my fault.

The likelihood is that:

It's not your fault, either.

When others try to blame you for their problems, remember:

It's not your fault.

It's their own shit they need to deal with. It's how they tackle adversity. How they learn to cope with emotional stress. How they learn to have a conversation with others. How they learn to say what they mean. How they handle difficult situations, whether it's family, friends, work, money. How they invite conversation. It's them. It's not you.

You're probably a really good person. You probably mean really well. They, on the other hand, are probably short with you. They probably have a quick temper. They probably blame you, blame work, blame being tired. They probably don't give you a reason, just cut you off. Put you down. Tell you it's your fault. You pushed too hard. You probed. You instigated it. You tried too much. It's your fault, your problem. You picked the wrong time to talk. You forced the tequila down their throat, forced them to drive drunk. It's not them, it's you.

Whether it's a hand, a belt, a fist, a shove, a slur, a condescending sneer, a 1 am call flush with hatred, a snarl, a venomous name calling, a mean text, the infinite blame: it's not your fault. Their alcoholism is not your fault. Their inability to hold a conversation is not your fault. Their lack of motivation, procrastination, excuses, failures, poor choices, family, upbringing are not your fault. Their inability to take responsibility for their actions, to control their spending, or to control their temper is not your fault.

Shit gets hard when you grow up. It's not always fun. Cleaning the toilet is not fun. It's not your fault he doesn't like that chore. It's not your fault he prefers just one more round over finishing the painting. It's not your fault the diaper needed changing, the dog needed walking. Not your fault the spark plug had to be changed, the plumber had to come and he had to rearrange his schedule. It's not your fault he went to a concert instead of paying the bills. It's not your fault housework isn't fun. But it's not your fault.

Sure, we all have regrets or wish we could have done x, y, or z differently. But how our significant others treat us is never our fault. We make choices about how to enact the change we want in our lives. We decide how to treat one another.

You're probably both really good people. Deep down.

But first? It's not your fault.